Thursday, 28 November 2013

Sunday, 24 November 2013


My friend Lucy showed me a very awesome vintage shop in Exeter
Find them on Facebook here

Wednesday, 13 November 2013


So, I can't believe it's only 6 weeks till Christmas! A mere 6 weeks. Only means one thing: start blasting Christmas tunes, eating too much food, spending too much money, and buying costa's gingerbread latte (optional)

I wrote a mini sketch (Christmas themed) that will hopefully go in a comedy show at my university.
It's about a Santa Claus being depressed because he doesn't get any presents. (I was definitely in the Christmas spirit when I wrote this!!)

Depressed Santa

Sitting down, Santa looks through the wish lists that children have sent him

Santa (mumbling): toy train, toy car, dolls house, princess fairy costume, keyboard, bicycle...

Elf: Err, hi Santa, I have a few more lists for you,

Santa: A few? (looks at the amount elf is carrying) That’s bloody loads; I thought you said these were my last lot

Elf: Yeah I thought they were! They just keep on coming and coming. It’s going to be a big one this year!

Santa (flicks through a few of the new lists): Give em here. Looks like I’ll be working all through the night now.

Elf (shocked): Come on Saint Nick, we all know you love it. Like you always say, it’s all worth it at the end of the day to see the smiles on the children’s faces!

Santa: Are you insane?

Elf: oh, I just thought, well, you’ve always said that Santa

Santa (sad): Have I? Well it doesn’t matter because who’s getting me a present? Why do I have to be the one giving presents all the time?

Elf: But you’re the spreader of joy, of love, you make Christmas what it is!

Santa: Why do all these ungrateful, whining, unpleasant, moaning little mongrels get them and I don’t?

Elf:  You must be pulling my leg, you can’t be serious Nick! These kids they love you!

Santa (starts smoking): I sit here, day after day, slaving away for months on end, year after year, making sure every little insignificant little child is happy for Christmas and what do I get in return? NOTHING!

Elf: Well, you-

Santa: Who gives a damn about me for the rest of the year? I’ll tell you who, no-one! No-one asks “Where’s Santa? Is he ok?”  Maybe a couple of times I’ll receive some crappy letter that says “Thank you” with some retarded drawing that I presume is Rudolph but looks more like donkey that’s been in a car crash.

Elf: Bless them for trying...what are you expecting, Van Gough?

Santa: And what’s with the fucking mince pies on the table of every single house I go in? Who thinks that I can eat that many mice pies? Have you met anyone that can eat that many mince pies? Have you?

Elf: No, but come on-

Santa: And all the glasses of wine! Don’t these people know I’m on a tight schedule? I can’t keep going to the toilet! And the carrots? I don’t even like carrots!

Elf: I think they’re meant for the reindeer

Santa: When I was younger, I never got presents, not even a tangerine or a lump of coal and here I am, expected to deliver presents in the thousands. I suppose I just started doing it because I was just trying to make up for the emptiness inside...the aching black void of emptiness.  I thought that if I became Santa my mother might be proud of me. Doing all this good and all. But nothing’s changed. Why didn’t she buy me a toy car eh? Where’s my toy car? Why haven’t I got one now?

Elf: Err because you’re not 5?

Santa: Shut up

Elf: Sorry.

Santa (takes a swig of whisky and decides to flick through some more of the lists): They always draw me so fat in pictures as well. Doesn’t do a lot for my self-confidence does it?

Elf: You look great

Santa: Looks like I’ll never get a present....Wait, what's this other letter? (Opens)... looks different... (Starts reading) What? I don't believe it! It’s from someone called Reader's Digest! My luck's changed Elf! It says here I've been entered in a prize draw to win either a luxury holiday in Miami, a mini iPad or a year's supply of cheese! And it looks like I'm guaranteed a prize! (jumps up) Yes!

*Elf in background can't take the stupidity and reaches for cigar


.... THE END!!!!

Friday, 8 November 2013

Mitchell and Webb

We're all a tiny bit guilty of getting sucked into those property shows!!

Love this clip.

Wind up doll

So for Halloween this year, I thought I'd make a proper effort (usually I go for a standard witch, usually missing an essential piece of costume such as the broom) and put together my own costume #DIY

Wind up doll

I thought the key turned out quite well despite my limited sewing skills and the fact I'd made it from the cardboard from a dominoes takeaway pizza box (can you get more like a student?!) and painted it black. I'll just say now I did not anticipate the rain that came on the night (I do not want to speak about #traumatictimes)

So anyway I sewed the key onto a lace dress that I already owned, and bought some face paint, stripy socks and headband to complete the spookiness..

I was tempted to just move robotically all night and just freak everyone out

I wish

Right, no judging but I can't stop listening to this song: