Thursday, 28 November 2013

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Relevant

My friend Lucy showed me a very awesome vintage shop in Exeter
Find them on Facebook here https://www.facebook.com/Relevantbyladylace?fref=ts






Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Christmas!

So, I can't believe it's only 6 weeks till Christmas! A mere 6 weeks. Only means one thing: start blasting Christmas tunes, eating too much food, spending too much money, and buying costa's gingerbread latte (optional)



I wrote a mini sketch (Christmas themed) that will hopefully go in a comedy show at my university.
It's about a Santa Claus being depressed because he doesn't get any presents. (I was definitely in the Christmas spirit when I wrote this!!)


Depressed Santa

Sitting down, Santa looks through the wish lists that children have sent him

Santa (mumbling): toy train, toy car, dolls house, princess fairy costume, keyboard, bicycle...

Elf: Err, hi Santa, I have a few more lists for you,

Santa: A few? (looks at the amount elf is carrying) That’s bloody loads; I thought you said these were my last lot

Elf: Yeah I thought they were! They just keep on coming and coming. It’s going to be a big one this year!

Santa (flicks through a few of the new lists): Give em here. Looks like I’ll be working all through the night now.

Elf (shocked): Come on Saint Nick, we all know you love it. Like you always say, it’s all worth it at the end of the day to see the smiles on the children’s faces!

Santa: Are you insane?

Elf: oh, I just thought, well, you’ve always said that Santa

Santa (sad): Have I? Well it doesn’t matter because who’s getting me a present? Why do I have to be the one giving presents all the time?

Elf: But you’re the spreader of joy, of love, you make Christmas what it is!

Santa: Why do all these ungrateful, whining, unpleasant, moaning little mongrels get them and I don’t?

Elf:  You must be pulling my leg, you can’t be serious Nick! These kids they love you!

Santa (starts smoking): I sit here, day after day, slaving away for months on end, year after year, making sure every little insignificant little child is happy for Christmas and what do I get in return? NOTHING!

Elf: Well, you-

Santa: Who gives a damn about me for the rest of the year? I’ll tell you who, no-one! No-one asks “Where’s Santa? Is he ok?”  Maybe a couple of times I’ll receive some crappy letter that says “Thank you” with some retarded drawing that I presume is Rudolph but looks more like donkey that’s been in a car crash.

Elf: Bless them for trying...what are you expecting, Van Gough?

Santa: And what’s with the fucking mince pies on the table of every single house I go in? Who thinks that I can eat that many mice pies? Have you met anyone that can eat that many mince pies? Have you?

Elf: No, but come on-

Santa: And all the glasses of wine! Don’t these people know I’m on a tight schedule? I can’t keep going to the toilet! And the carrots? I don’t even like carrots!

Elf: I think they’re meant for the reindeer

Santa: When I was younger, I never got presents, not even a tangerine or a lump of coal and here I am, expected to deliver presents in the thousands. I suppose I just started doing it because I was just trying to make up for the emptiness inside...the aching black void of emptiness.  I thought that if I became Santa my mother might be proud of me. Doing all this good and all. But nothing’s changed. Why didn’t she buy me a toy car eh? Where’s my toy car? Why haven’t I got one now?

Elf: Err because you’re not 5?

Santa: Shut up

Elf: Sorry.

Santa (takes a swig of whisky and decides to flick through some more of the lists): They always draw me so fat in pictures as well. Doesn’t do a lot for my self-confidence does it?

Elf: You look great

Santa: Looks like I’ll never get a present....Wait, what's this other letter? (Opens)... looks different... (Starts reading) What? I don't believe it! It’s from someone called Reader's Digest! My luck's changed Elf! It says here I've been entered in a prize draw to win either a luxury holiday in Miami, a mini iPad or a year's supply of cheese! And it looks like I'm guaranteed a prize! (jumps up) Yes!


*Elf in background can't take the stupidity and reaches for cigar

 

.... THE END!!!!

Friday, 8 November 2013

Mitchell and Webb


We're all a tiny bit guilty of getting sucked into those property shows!!

Love this clip.

Wind up doll

So for Halloween this year, I thought I'd make a proper effort (usually I go for a standard witch, usually missing an essential piece of costume such as the broom) and put together my own costume #DIY

Wind up doll

I thought the key turned out quite well despite my limited sewing skills and the fact I'd made it from the cardboard from a dominoes takeaway pizza box (can you get more like a student?!) and painted it black. I'll just say now I did not anticipate the rain that came on the night (I do not want to speak about #traumatictimes)

So anyway I sewed the key onto a lace dress that I already owned, and bought some face paint, stripy socks and headband to complete the spookiness..





I was tempted to just move robotically all night and just freak everyone out

I wish

Right, no judging but I can't stop listening to this song:




Sunday, 23 June 2013

TARDIS cupcakes

 

 

My friend made me these A.M.A.Z.I.N.G Doctor Who themed cupcakes for my 18th birthday (no I have not grown up!!) She knows me well. And hell do they taste as good as they look. WARNING: If anyone goes near them I shall have to exterminate.

Friday, 31 May 2013

Top 5 favourite actors


 5. Benedict Cumberbatch

Yeah, so, I think he's pretty tops. Especially in Sherlock Holmes. Speaks so quickly and in a sort of low murmer which is really quite chilling/awesome.
 
 
 
 
 

 
4. Johnny Depp
 
 Who does not love Johnny Depp? Personally I loved his hilarious portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in The Pirates of The Carribean films. Oh, and as The Mad Hatter.

 
 
 
 
3. David Tennant
 
 All time favourite Doctor in Doctor Who. Brilliant. He had that kind of thing about him that made him seem like he WAS the Doctor, merely playing the role of David Tennant. I'm almost sure of it. Very funny, and he talked real fast to distract the Daleks (If you haven't already realised I rate talking quickly and being funny quite highly for some reason).








2. Rowan Atkinson

Ahhhh. Rowan. Loved his portrayal of Mr Bean. Think he is fab. And guess what DUNN DUNN DERRRRN *Drum roll please* I also think he is hilarious. A close second with his wide range of amazingly crazy facial expressions.






1. Jim Carrey


This guy really take the biscuit. In fact he also eats the biscuit (You get my kind-of metaphor?) He is my all time favourite actor of all time...of all time...in the universe and beyond. I don't think it is possible to find an actor that is so naturally funny but can also make you all emotional when he does all the serious stuff. And not to mention: Best Facial expressions ever. BOOM.

Friday, 24 May 2013

PING PONG

Not that I want a tattoo, but I gotta say, the cat design would be pretty nifty. ( or should I say FREAKING AWESOME)




SCRABBLE COOKIES. They look divine. Clever idea.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

fun.

Wouldn't it be well FUN if I wore this.

Lazy Oaf.

 

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Jimmy Who?


I am going to see Jimmy Carr's 2012/13 tour this Septemeber on the 7th at the Hall For Cornwall in Truro. So excited already!

"Gagging Order" promises to be an hilarious night out...let's see shall we. The show will be packed with one-liners, stories & jokes. Some clever, some rude & a few totally unacceptable."



Sunday, 17 March 2013

the wonderful Sherlock.

Benedict Cumberbatch (can I just say, awesome name) plays Sherlock Holmes in the modern adaptation, and I think he is brilliant! He is definitely on my favourite actors list. If I even got close to his standard of acting I would be as happy as ever (and happier still if I could marry him!!) This clip where he acts drunk is hilarious. You must watch it. And that's an order.


Saturday, 16 March 2013

British Bake Off

Decided to do some baking at Chloe's house today. We were thinking Truffles and Peanut butter cookies. Nice surprise when I saw this on her door when I trekked across the road to her house:


Treverva is the villiage we live in if you're wondering.

The war was on!

I made cookies, Chloe made cakes (I think she just made up the recipe. There was a lot of golden syrup involved!)

Thursday, 14 March 2013

212


Azealia Banks, American rapper. This song's quite good.

Back To Sanity

"Why do we find it impossible to live in harmony with each other, the natural world, or even ourselves? Why is human history an endless, depressing saga of warefare, conflict, and oppression?  Why do we seem impelled to destroy our environment, and hence ourselves as a species? Or, on a more psychological level, why do we suffer from constant restlessness and unease? Why is it that many of us are driven to accumulate more and more wealth, status and success, without any evidence that they provide us with contentment and fulfillment? Why, when we achieve our goals, do we only feel a short period of satisfaction, before restlessness emerges again, filling us with a desire to achieve more?

There is really something wrong with our minds. We suffer from a basic psychological disorder that is the source of our dysfunctional behaviour. We're all slightly mad - and because the madness is so intrinsic to us, we're not aware of it. I call this 'humania' as in 'human madness.'"

An anecdote from the author about when he was at University, leaving his friends apartment feeling unwelcome.

"I left the halls of residence and walked through the students' union building, full of students drinking, talking, and laughing, and felt a terrible sense of isolation. I was completly alone here, trapped inside my own mental space with these thougths, and this sense of being a conscious entity, and nobody would ever be able to really know me, to experience what I was experiencing, to feel what I was feeling. I felt incredibly lonely, like a planet surrounded by millions of miles of empty space. The space inside my head where 'I' lived seemed cramped and oppressive, like a tiny dark prison cell. I felt I was experiencing the reality of my predicament as a human being, a terrible truth that everyone fought hard to avoid, and it seemed impossible to bear - we were all trapped inside ourselves, completely isolated and unknowable, as we were all trying so hard to escape, drinking and talking and watching TV to try and forget the emptiness inside us."

Back To Sanity by Steve Taylor

Monday, 11 March 2013

sarah millican

Sarah Millican, one of my favourite stand-up comedians. Here she is, talking about.....custard. Yes. Custard.  She's even made custard funny.
 
 


BURST OF COLOUR

We're the colours of the rainbow.....
 
 
I wish this was me.
I would really love to dye my hair exactly like this, but as it's so dark I would have to bleach it first, and run the risk of ruining it.. But it would be so cool, blue AND pink, come'on! Where could that go wrong!? Oh well, I can still dream......
 
 



The cardigan she is wearing..where can I get one?


Sunday, 24 February 2013

Pixie Lott

Pixie Lott is one of my style gurus. I would do anything to have her wardrobe. Here's why:






                                                                                        Proof enough?